Monday, January 18, 2010

What a wonderful time we had together...but then comes flare that takes you down

On January 14th 2010, my husband and I took a bus trip to Disneyland with his company Safeway. For most people this would be a simple task, but for me it isnt. I had to make sure that I had everything that I needed for a short 1 day trip. That included my medications, clothes that would not cause me pain, and my wheel chair. This was going to be our first time in Disneyland without our kids. I just wanted to be happy and enjoy my time with my husband, but having the RSD and fibromyalgia wasnt going to make it easy. Being pushed around by my husband and having to be stared at and questioned because no one seems to understand why Im in a wheel chair because I look normal on the outside. We had a fantastic time together despite all that I was dealing with. By the time I got back home, that simple time with my husband that most people take for granted knocked me out. I spent the next three days in bed feeling like a Mack truck hit me and long painful sleepless nights. I can not wait for the day when I can get up and go do something and know I wont have to pay for it in the end.
.............. I greatly enjoyed my time with my wife even though it was a bit bittersweet. It was great to have those close moments with her in a place we love and I wish she didnt have this disease to hold her back. I know its hard to see her struggle with the looks and stares of stangers who wonder why she sits in a wheel chair when it appears she is healthy and normal. If only people knew what I know about her, and the pain she carries inside. I hope that one day the awareness and knowledge that people have of chronic pain conditions will give our society more of a heart of compassion and respect for those who silently suffer. I know it wasnt easy for her, but I appreciate her effort to spend a special night with me when she knew it would not be easy and at times painful. I love her for her spirit and strength, and will always cherish our time together. Its frustrating to see how one night can have such a drastic affect on her body. I try to support her as best I can but there is nothing I can do to stop her flare from getting worse. I feel bad as she struggles to get any sleep at night, and everything with her body seems out of wack. All I can do is enjoy the special moments we have in this life, and support her through the aftermath of her condition.

Gentle Hugz Rachel and Mike Silva

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